LGBT Bravery

In the aftermath of the Mormon church's new policies regarding same sex families, I am reminded again of the importance of being yourself.

There are so many people in this world who feel they don't belong, that they aren't enough (insert insecurity here). They wish they were different or better or what they feel would eliminate an insecurity. There are so many illnesses that spring from a person not being good enough at something, not fitting a weight or appearance category, not liking the same things as everyone else, not believing the same things as everyone else, and not being who others want them to be.

A huge issue today is that of any sexuality that is not strictly heterosexual. Being anything other than "normal" is not acceptable and punishable. I can't agree with anyone who would tell a person that they could not be who they are inside because it doesn't fit in the "normal" mold. I can't agree with anyone who has a "cure" for homosexuality and will force it on anyone so they will be "normal."

There is a favorite move of mine about love and happiness, and learning what it means to be who you really are even if it's not what you were taught is being a good Christian. It takes place at a Born Again Christian high school, where Mary is living the popular Jesus-centric life and is friends with the most popular Jesus-centric girl in school. She has the perfect Christian boyfriend and her life is happy. Until it isn't, and her world turns into the opposite of what she is told is that of a good Christian.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Mary's world is turned upside down when her perfect Christian boyfriend confides in her his "spiritually toxic affliction." In order to cure him of his homosexuality, she gives up her virginity, asking God to purify her so Dean could be cured. Well, that's not how it worked out.

Dean gets sent to Mercy House by his parents, a place for the treatment of spiritually toxic afflictions, like being gay, among other things. Mary then finds that her prayer for purification did not protect her from pregnancy. She spends almost the whole school year trying to hide her pregnancy from those who would condemn her, including her mother, while falling in love with the baby growing inside her. During this time she finds out what friendship really is and what it means to be accepted for who someone truly is on the inside.

At the end of the movie her pregnancy is discovered and Dean is still at Mercy House. On prom night Dean and his friends rebel and leave Mercy House to head for the prom, where Mary is having a grand time with her accepting friends and new boyfriend, the pastor's son, who cares about her enough to be supportive, even though Mary is pregnant. Dean and his boyfriend arrive, whom he met at Mercy House, and they have the following exchange.

Being who one truly is on the inside is the only way to lead a satisfying and truly happy life. To be forced to deny or hide who oneself truly is will bring on the deepest form of self-hatred and insecurity. There are so many young people who commit suicide because they cannot handle the pressure of what it means to be gay in their families or communities. Being gay can be a death sentence, as evidenced by Matthew Shepard, or a life of misery and being ostracized by one's own family and friends.

Living a life hiding or denying who one is is not living, it's lying. It's lying to oneself and all those around them every minute of every day. To truly live one must be honest and free to be who they want to be, the true self living inside.

I have been so happy to see the changes in laws around the country in support of the rights of every citizen to love who they want to love. I watched the videos about the first people to get married in the first states to legalized marriage to all the people in the country who love each other. I cried as I watched the 90 year old women who had been together for 60 years finally be able to get married, holding hands over the arms of their wheelchairs. I watched a video about a US Marine marrying his long-time boyfriend in full dress uniform.

Seeing the support and acceptance of Caitlyn Jenner, and the rise in people who are able to become the gender they were born to be, has been so touching. The most popular girl in the classes I took for my recent degree was a girl named Stephanie. She was always happy and gave me awesome beauty tips. She was also transsexual and still partway through her series of surgeries. She was very smart and very together. If you wanted to know when a test was or what homework was due, you asked Stephanie because she always knew. She was beautiful, and even more so because she put the most vulnerable pieces of herself out in the open for everyone to see so she could be the person she knew she was.

That, to me, is the essence of bravery.