Sisterly Love

Two weeks ago, I had quite the surprise. A good one, and I'm happy, but still a surprise.

I grew up with a younger brother, five years younger. We're close, and have been for my sibling's whole life. We had a lot of fun together as kids, and we were roommates for a year and a half about twelve years ago.

Two weeks ago, my little brother came out as trans.

I've called my sibling my brother up until this sentence for clarity, but in truth, I have a younger sister and always have. She was just disguised as a boy.

Honestly, when she came out, it was a surprise, but it also made sense. There were a lot of things about her as a child that weren't quite in line with boys, but in the 80s and 90s, the possibility of her being trans wasn't even on the radar. It was gay or straight, and nothing else existed.

So, many people wondered if my sister would turn out to be a gay man, but in her gender assigned at birth, she was straight. The truth wasn't something we would even have considered as she grew up.

Several years ago, my sister came out as bi-gender, so there was a transition period between thinking of her as a man to now knowing she's a woman. It took her until recently to put all the pieces together.

Then she came out to my immediate family over a family Zoom call. We have these calls regularly with my sister and two step-siblings along with my mom and step-dad. My sister requested the call, then used it to come out to us.

We banded together to show her support and love. No one had anything bad or rude to say, and just accepted her.

My extended family on both sides are all Mormon, a church that openly discriminates against anyone not straight and cis. If someone isn't straight and cis, they're expected to deny their "urges" and live as straight and cis to retain favor in the eyes of God. Well, screw that. It's the reason I left the Mormon church in 2016 after converting in 2009. Expecting someone to deny who they are is wrong. Period.

Because of the religious nature of much of my family, I worried about the acceptance of my sister and what people would say. There were specific people I worried about, but so far, it seems to be going better than I expected.

My sister announced on Facebook on Tuesday last week that she's trans, and she was met with quite a bit of love and acceptance, including from some of our Mormon family, which surprised us. It's definitely a welcome one, though. With all the warm wishes, there were some conspicuous absences of family members. Through my mom discussing the matter with them, it seems that despite their silence, they may be more accepting than we thought.

Overall, the announcement went well. No one said anything bad. She had a lot of warm and loving comments on her post, and she got a few private messages declaring support and acceptance. The reaction touched and elated her, and she told me she was crying tears of joy off and on all day.

I couldn't be happier for her. She's a wonderful person deserving of all manner of joy, and I believe now she can move on to being able to find joy in herself in a way she never has before.

I love my sister, no matter what her gender identity is. What really matters is the love and connection we share, and her identity doesn't change that at all. In fact, getting to know who she really is may strengthen it even more.

I can't wait to see her transition into the woman she was always meant to be.

Photo Credit Element5 Digital