Doubts of Skill

My writing journey continues to bump along. I'm devouring books on different aspects of writing in the hopes of being able to tell a compelling story.

Unfortunately, all the "do this" instructions are leaving me with doubts that I can successfully write. I have so many stories I want to tell, and so many ways I can fail. 

So far, I've not been able to tell a compelling story. Feedback from critiques say I have great ideas and great characters, and I'm good at writing dialog, sex scenes, and action. But I'm missing the piece that creates a story that people want to read: conflict. It's the part of the story that makes you wonder what will happen. Will the hero overcome his fears? Will the heroine defeat her father's hold on her? The push and pull between the protagonist, their goals, the antagonist, and the world around them. Without conflict, there is no story.

For a long time, I didn't understand what conflict was and how it worked, so I couldn't insert it into my stories. People kept telling me it wasn't there, but I had no idea how to add it in. I've since learned what conflict is and now know what I need to add in order to create a good story.

I've also learned about structure and character development, and combining my new knowledge of those three elements should help me take my ideas to the next level.

Yet I find myself hesitating.

Everything I've ever written needs to be rewritten to be viable. The prospect of rewriting nine novels, including revamping and adjusting all the plots, is daunting to say the least.

I've begun gathering ideas for several novels, and I'm dipping my toes into one specifically. One of my critique partners has offered to read it, and I'm considering handing him the first act once it's ready—before I tackle the rest of it.

The other piece of my loss of confidence is that the two authors I respect the most that I know from the writing website I used to use are self-publishing, their books either out now or available for preorder. Both books are incredible, and I look forward to reading the final edits on both. But the fact that they both have books ready for publication while I write draft after draft of the same books is difficult.

For the last week, I've been tempted to give up. Yet writing is in my soul now. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. But it doesn't make the difficulties easier to take.

All I can do is take my knocks and learn from them.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy these night sounds by The Silent Watcher.

Photo Credit Sira Anamwong via freedigitalphotos.net